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I’m just asking you to help me understand. That’s all. I just want to take back a little piece of my mind, so I have somewhere to run when the insanity overwhelms me.

I’ve never done this before. Never trusted. Never turned myself inside out to show that there’s more than just anger and darkness and death. I’ll let you peer over my thick, high walls covered in sharp thorns to see that there is also loneliness and this bitter aching.

You say that you can help me, and though I don’t quite understand how, I’m tired of the madness and the pain.

I’ve tried to ignore it. I’ve tried to fold it back into the corners of my mind, but Fear is still there. He binds up my heart in chains and leaves this void and longing.

You claim you can defeat my fears and enter into my thoughts to persuade me. I’ve never witnessed such persistence, such patience. I watch you often come to my wall, pushing back the thorns, and begin picking away the loose stones.

Sometimes it angers me to see you breaking apart my wall piece by piece, and I scream for you to stop. Sometimes it frightens me, and I run to hide before my defense crumbles away. But mostly, I marvel. I watch in awe at how you never stop, you never rest, and you never listen to my pleas.

But today is different. I will go to the wall knowing that you stand on the other side. My thick stones have worn thin, but there is no more need to dig.

I let the walls crumble. I show you my scars, and you show me yours. You chase away my darkness and bind up my fears. Oh, how glad I am that you never gave up on me. You waited and listened to hear this lost man’s plea.

Writer. College student. Focused. Blessed. Adventurer. Musician. Professional over thinker. I'm pretty busy with college, but sometimes I write. It clears my head and reminds me of the impact I want to have on the world, which is why I'll never stop.

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